Saturday, May 14, 2011

Angels and Demons

I have been sadly neglecting my "home" blog over the past few weeks. My apologies! On the bright side, my book blog is flourishing... hooray! I even got a fancy schmancey new blog award... not that I'm entirely sure what the "Blog on Fire" award is supposed to mean, but it's definitely a good sign (means I'm getting more traffic!) So, if you're interested in any writing updates, that's your place to be. If you're wondering what else goes on in my life right now besides writing... well... I'm sorry to report that I'm way too far behind to catch up, so we're just going to have to baby step it from the present time.

One thing of note is that I've started running in the morning. I go to this sweet little park that has a pond and lots of trees and all that jazz. Its kind of fun, because it reminds me of Hyde Park in London, (although, not even close to the size of Hyde Park!) So anyway, on these fabulous runs in my Hyde-esque Park, I've noticed two things: Houston has Angels. And Houston has Demons. I'm not exactly talking about those fluffy winged cherubs portrayed in books and movies... although, as a matter of fact, these particular Angels and Demons DO, have wings.

We'll start with the bad guys

The Demons

In London, while visiting Glastonbury (which is where King Arthur and Guinevere are supposedly burried, for those of you non savvy English brutes), I saw this sign...
...which I pretty much thought was the funniest thing in the world. (I may have been operating on like 5 hours of sleep at the time. Its definitely possible I was slap happy). In my little sleep deprived state of mind, I couldn't figure out what about a silly little goose could be so frightening that they'd take the effort to post a "Stay Away from the Geese" sign on the lawn. Obviously, I got a hoot out of it, seeings how I went through the effort of taking a picture of that sign--out of all things--whilst visiting the grave of King Arthur.

Well this sign took on a new meaning during my morning runs this week. I suddenly realized oh-how-wise those English people were in posting said goose sign. There I was this week, minding my own business, enjoying the cheery, peaceful park on my morning run, when all of the sudden I hear this strange honking noise. Curious, I turn my head to see what was causing this odd, bird-in-serious-pain noise. Perhaps a helpless little duckling caught in a trap?

Ha. No. Imagine my shock when I see the mother of all gigantic white geese--beak forward, wings out--battle charging at me with full force.

I won't lie. I yelped and screamed like a little girl. (Have you ever been bitten by a Hyde Park goose while trying to feed it bread? Yeah. It hurts.)
And then I ran faster.

And the bird followed.

Luckily my legs outreach said goose by a good three feet. So, while that mother of all gigantic white geese was making a valiant effort on those two wobbly, webbed feet of hers, by pure length of leg, I managed to escape the wrath of the fiery demon.

I was feeling pretty smug. Stupid bird.

However, after I got over the general euphoria of beating down a bird in a foot race, I felt rather silly for letting a bird get the better of me. Ashamed, I vowed to never let it happen again. (I mean, cause really... I'm how many times its size??)

Yesterday, I had my big chance to prove my warrior strenght. As I'm struttin' along down the footpath, minding my own business, this same goose (or maybe it wasn't the same goose... I don't know... it LOOKED like the same goose) starts honking when I'm still a good 20 feet away. (Seriously? What is her problem??) But I don't let it get to me. I throw my shoulders back, head high, hair in the wind, and keep running. 19 feet. 18 feet. 17... 16... I was closing in fast and this bird was having none of it. At about 15 feet, psycho bird puts her beak down, spreads her wings and charges.... My initial reaction?

Run faster!!

But never fear, dear readers, in that darkest hour, I remembered my vow. So rustling up as much courage as I had, I stopped running. Turned to face the charging beast. Stomped my foot on the ground (for the overall intimidation factor), and yelled:

"You wanna piece of this?!" 

And yes, it worked. Stupid, crazy demon psycho bird.

The Angels

But never fear, Houston has its angels too. Nestled in the park with the crazy demon geese, are lots of these fluffy cherubs:

And, really? Is there anything more cute that a baby duckling?! Awwwww!


Angels and Demons, folks. Angels and Demons. Right here in Houston!

3 comments:

meagan said...

I love everything about this post! Oh the swans in Hyde Park.

When I was there most recently I learned a new game where you removed the middle from a slice of bread and tried to lasso the swan's neck with the crust donut before it bit your fingers off....

Julie said...

Hahahahahahahaha!

Oh dear, I seriosuly can't stop laughing right now.... oh the games we come up with! But I must know, did anyone ever successfully lasso a swan? They could be quite vicious, if I recall...

Also, I'm just morbidly curious as to how the REST of the birds responded to the lassoed swan... in my mind I'm picturing the guys in The Mummy getting swarmed by the flesh eating bugs... but maybe that's too extreme?

LOVE this!

proudmamablogga said...

Hilarious. I would love to watch anyone shout out to a goose, "You want a piece of this?"

Congrats on passing the bar. I'll be watching your blog for all your succeeding life updates.